Performance Evaluations...

Ahora que aca en tierras del tio Steve estamos en revisiones de mitad de ciclo, me acorde de esta lista de cosas que a nadie le gustaria recibir en su revision de rendimiento, y que alguno que otro personaje de SasQTCen de seguro ha recibido en su revision mas de una de estas frases:

Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations, or, “Peer Feedback Anti-Patterns”

These are “actual quotes” taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a sign-post."

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

28. "One neuron short of a synapse."

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Les dejo de tarea que escriban en los comments el review de (al menos) uno de los siguientes personajes usando las frases antes mencionadas:
- Rav4
- Balam

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3 comments:

Unknown said...

pues creo que en la evaluacion de rav4 se podrian poner varios de los comentarios que posteo el Dan, pero creo que podria ser suficiente con "I've allready spent more time in this evaluation that 'IT' doing any job"

Y del Balam "the only drawback of him working for the company is that the electricity bill has growth since he works around the clock" y un "chocolate comment"

Unknown said...

por cierto buen post!!!

Dan said...

Muy agradecido Mr. Pando,
Por cierto la #30 me recuerda a Axelin y aquella famosa frase de "han pasado 15 min desde hace 15 min"
La #7 me recuerda a los commitments de sasqtcen donde todo mundo ponia lo que fuera para salir "exceeded"
La #18 al acha? (chale que manchado)
#6 y #20 Rav4
La #27 es muy buena, jeje

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